Silence

Loneliness
defeaning me
Thoughts left unshared
keeping me awake
as i lay on my bed
wondering,
where are you?
staring at the night sky
wishing upon every star
for the happiness
i know no more
pain and anguish,
all i feel,
hot tears
all i have left
to remind me
of You

Aarti@ 24/6/05

Will i ever??

Are you hidden inside?
my mind,it wonders
Am i ever going to meet you?
my heart it races

Travelled from mountains afar
I make my way everyday
Hoping that "Today" will be the day
My search,it will soon come to an end.

How i wish i could make the sun
stay up longer.
How i wish i could muster
the courage to walk to your doorstep.

Collapse in a heap on the dried grass
Tears lay frozen on my cheeks
Blood oozing from the blisters on my feet
Tired and worn out, dejection setting in
..........
.......

Will i see you tomorrow?
Will you know i wait for you?
When will i see you?
Will i ever??

Aarti @ 22/6/05
Wrote this with Christina's world painting in my mind!!!

Slow down....

dont stare at the clock
dont worry about tomorrow
let time stand still
till your vision is clear.

halt right there
catch your breath
and look around
see what your missing.

why are we always running?
is the destination slipping away?
worrying for nothing,we waste our time
slow down, you will see much more...

wanna be here,wanna be there
mind,it ceases to see
focus, you start to lose
reality,its lost to you.....

Aarti @ 20/6/05
Had a feeling that we were all racing against time and in the process missing out the simple nuances of life ..

what more could i ask for?

Free as a bird
i wanna fly and roam the world
whisper to the stars filling in the night sky
say hello to the sun during the day
what more could i ask for?

Free as the wind
i wanna swish past the trees
brushing against the leaves in the trees
caressing the cheeks of the lone girl sitting on the park bench
what more could i ask for?

Free as the heart
i wanna beat day and night
pumping new life into the person holding me
evoking new emotions when another comes to meet me
what more could i ask for?

Free as the mind
i wanna wander the body
thinking and speaking what i feel
looking beyond the horizon far far away
what more could i ask for?

Aarti @ 20/6/05

Will i-Part II

Will i
ever be the same person
i was,
Before i met you?

Will i
ever go back to how
i was,
Before you came into my life?

Will i
ever remember how my
life was,
Before i met you?

Will i
ever be so loving and caring
as i am
With you in my life?

Will i
ever be this strong,
as i have
Become with you around?

Will i
ever want or ache for more
as i would
If you were to leave me?

Will i ???
Will i ever??

Aarti @ 17/6/05

LOVE WORDS

It's only ideas that I
remember,that
hound me,
day and night,
threatening
that they come to me only once,
And if not put on paper, will leave
and take with them
those lovely unused words.

I want to enjoy words like
they were a lovely
song,
but all i see are straining letters
filling up the pages
as i hope and
pray
that they end up like
a beautiful pearl necklace.

Would i be able to
summon those
evading words,
if i imagine
an audience such as thee...

Aarti @ 14/6/05

At times....

At Times . . .

At times I want to say so many things..
At times I want to tell him how special he is..
At times I want to tell him I love him..
At times I want to kiss him, hug, caress him..
At times I want to show all my love on him..
At times I want to tell him how important he is..
At times I want to tell him I loved him as I never loved anyone before..
At times I want to say it out but I never had those guts to say him..
There was a fear of losing him, a fear what if he said no to me, a fear of ending the bound we share..
I wish I have said him all this because my silence took him away from me
At times I still wish I have said him all this
At times . . .

From 4-Minutes-Per-Day

a lot of

A lot of pain
For
Something I have gained
Could I have gained without it?

A lot of hurt
For
A lifetime of joy
Is that what life is all about?

A lot of sorrow
For
Something I should not have done.
Will this give me what I’m looking for?

A lot of tears
For
something you did not deserve.
Is this the true meaning of love?

A lot of love, trust and honesty
For
A lifetime of togetherness
Now.. this is what I promise, this is ALL I want!!!!

Aarti @ 16/6/05

Speed

Sounded like so much fun
Driving around in the sun.
So young and sweet
Always laughing and ready to greet.
Went off in her car
Not knowing death was not far.
Bid me farewell not so long ago
And now all i see is her blood flow.
Did not notice the truck ahead
Waving her hands she was instead.
Knew not today was her last day
May her soul rest,is all I Pray.

Gone in a moment from my life
Reality cutting through me like a knife.
No more will i see her
No more will i hear her.
Gone in a flash
Her life,it came to an end with a crash!!

Aarti @ 15/6/05

you mean so much to me

You mean so much to me
And I just wanted you to know how much I care......
You have helped me to find a special outlook on life ,
And brought out the emotions i had been denied.
You have been there through good and bad times,
And helped me realise with you is where i belong.
You mean so much to me

I cant help but feel as though I owe you so much
I know i will need you for years to come.
And,
I will be there for you.
Where ever time may take us.
I want you to remember
How much you mean to me ..

Aarti@ 14/6/05

Auto ride in chennai

Oh,talking about Auto's reminds me of what happened last nite(no,am not being self absorbed..heheheh) :):):):):):):):)

.. after i got into that auto outside of Anokhi,the driver instead of taking a right goes straight n suddenly decides he wants the turn that he missed ,so he braves a U turn and thud bang boom i hear a noise n crunching of tires.. only to notice a smart genteeelman has rammed his errrr ummm Bike into the auto's side butt...lol.. there is some haggling while my auto guy pushes the auto to park it bang outside The Park sheraton and goes offf.. leaving me wondering if maybe he wants me to get into the hotel and get him a beer or something else.. rapping my fingers against the auto rail i sit there and take in the wonderful scenery,all this within 2mins of saying bye to ANurag n Prads!!

Counted 2other autos parked outside, a car sitting near Amma nana store, a cop sipping gharama gharam chai at a tea stall and a lady in the car at the signal yakking away on the phone,hands flying in the air,wonder how she drives...must have been about 5mins or so and my man finally returns and says" madam,he was at fault, sorry abt this haan" and we get off from there and are riding down TTK road,nearing Lifestyle ka signal when he jus about manages to NOT bang into a nice shiny red Toyota innova,am busy oggling at the CAR(no cute guys in it tho,...tsk tsk..sad) n suddenly realise the car is about to fall on my lap ask the auto ka chauffer to slow down for which he says "nahin madam,onnum aagathu(nothing will happen),kavala pdatheenga(dont worry) and

Thats when i started praying ..realll hard!!! GOD,take me home in one piece.. for Anurag's auto narration was still fresh in my head.. zoooming along Nungambakkam high road,traffic at its peak as always,and our man decides to do some hi funda stuff by swerving between humara apna PTC bus and a couple of bikers(who are already swerving thru the traffic)... that was a funny sight i must say cos it looked like all the vehicles were going idhar udhar almos like they were creating a pattern that must have looked lovely from up above....if a plane was flying above ispahani that is!!! so we reach near Sangeetha n this guy is busy talking to the neibor autowala,like they were childhood friends not realising that madam is holding her life in her dear hands and jus abt hanging on to the auto....lol...

There is a lorry standing outside sangeetha and this guy says" these water lorries are such a pain,i zimply nod my head..only to notice that its a MILK van n not water lorry..." heave a sigh of relief cos i know we are on Chetpet bridge, near Sony world n home is not far off... trudging along in the bridge weaving thru the traffic with our man cursing this bridge for being narrow,cursing the car that he thot was going too slow,when it was him who was jus abt ready to kiss that car's butt all the time...

Only when i see my house in sight do i let go of the auto rail n grab my bags n make a dash out of the auto into the safe n secure gates...Phew!!! wat a ride.. and it took jus about 25mins...

One very shaken up and rattled A...ar......ti........
@ 15/6/05

Only for you!!

You've allowed me to experience
something very hard to find
unconditional love that exists
in my body, soul, and mind.

"I have smiled in my life...
I have felt emotions in my life...
I have been enamoured in my life...
But what you have evoked in me...
is something I will treasure...
All my life... Thank You.... For being You...
You are exquisite!!"..... was all you said

I love the way you make me so Happy,
All i want is for you to be Happy
And the ways you show you care.
I just hope you know how much for you i care.

I love the way you say, "I Love You,"
And the way you're always there.

You are an amazing person
and without you I don't know where I'd be.
Just know this one thing,my love-
You hold a heart in your hands
Thats filled with love for you

Aarti 9/6/05

Lost Friend

I see your smile
I hear your voice
I know your mind
For i am your friend

Sister, friend and colleague
Are roles i have dorned for you
Keeping you company
when you felt low and lost.

"My Best Friend",I called you
Time,it sure has taught me a lesson
The trust and faith I had in us
Shattered and broken in a few seconds

Do you know the pain you caused?
or Did you do it to not hurt me?
Was it an act of Selfishness?
or Was it because you care?

I see your smile, full of pretense
I hear your voice, filled with lies
I know your mind, filled with deceit
I still am your friend

No longer will i ever share
But, i will always care!!

Aarti @ 7/6/05

Sleepless nights

Making its way into the sky
the moon it shines so bright
Stars aplenty, to keep it company
all through the long lonely night.

As i lay here on my bed
Wait and be patient,i have to learn
Thoughts of you surging through my head
Restless and sleepless ,i toss and turn.

These are the reasons I am so restless at night,
I think of ways I could show you I care,
Falling asleep,it has become such a fight
Into the darkness, i simply stare..

Aarti 7/6/05