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Am a contradiction of sorts. i love going out and having a good time with friends, and i can also stay home chill out over a book or a movie.. Am very passionate about writing, so give me a topic and watch me float away into wonderland... I Am crazy about music,books,friends and my doggie... :)

March 23, 2014

Bursting at the seams

You dont ask if I am busy
You dont ask if I have other plans
You just assume am gonna drop all I am doing/planned and come over
You dont think twice before lashing out orders
You dont think twice before revealing your true feeling
You make me feel invisible.

There are times when all I want is a kind word
or maybe a smile
There are times when I cry to myself to sleep
and wake up with 
tears rolling down my cheeks
I know you dont even care... 

You dont seem to understand
You dont seem to care
You dont get the concept of feelings
nor the concept of space
And I remain invisible

You treat me as if I was on a leash
You treat me like am your slave
You cry and whine
You laugh and chatter away
Yet I remain invisible

People say it is alright
It is only you
I am to forgive
and you do all this for you love

People say if not with you
who else can she act this way
Not done- I tell them
Not fair- to me! 

Put them in my shoes
and let us see
How they fare, or what they say!! 
The feeling of being invisible.
Painful way to live..

I turn to my friends
They are my only solace
You hate them as well
You care not that they care about me
To them, I am not invisible.

Every time the phone rings
Every time I hear your voice
I wonder what next you have
for me to fulfill 

I bend over backwards
I put you as priority
Yet, you thrash away with those words
I wish I was invisible 
I was I wasn't here...~!!! 

(c) Aarti 24th March 2014 

March 13, 2014

55 word story- Bonds

It was her birthday, she remembered! To wish or not? To call or just message? Questions running through her mind. Decision was made; she sent a wish and asked about the plans. Two words were all she got - "Thank you".  Replied with a “J” and deleted the thread.. Until next year, the cycle continues.

March 4, 2014


Suddenly out of the blue, I cooked up this verse in my head. Wanted to pen it down before I forgot, for I really liked it and connected with it.

Who am I
But a nobody!

I wanted to shout out
screams contained in my head

Who am I
But a nobody!

I wanted to reach out
rationality restricted at the door

Who am I
But a nobody!

I knew you were wrong
reasoning flew right out the window

Who am I
But a nobody!

I felt suffocated
words that were being held back

Who am I
But am Me!

I did want to make sense
I yearned to show you some light

Who am I
But am Me!

You reached out
to cry, to vent, to lash out

You took my hand
to console, to agree with you

The shangles broke
I was free

Who am I
But am Me!

I voiced my thoughts
I shared my concerns
I knew it was not my place
to do just so

Who am I
But am Me.

You stared in silence
Angry and broken
You refused to listen
you let go...

Who am I
But am Me!

I listen
I hear you
But am Me!
I refuse to stay silent
I shall not simply be!
But am Me!

(c) Aarti 5th March 2014

[Image courtesy]

March 2, 2014

Revisiting words

It has been a while since I read/wrote poems, so when a friend pinged me asking if I had any on Love, I replied "yes, but have to dig em out of the blog". He kept at it saying another friend was doing a book, a collection of poems and collecting them from many.

I kinda forgot about it and then 2 days back he was back with an sms asking me about it. I finally dug a few out and sent it to Glory[ a friend & a writer].. She then got back saying she was picking few others from the blog and wanted me to arrange them like a verse and send them to her. She had edited and put together this book called "The heart only whispers" that featured 60 poems from writers across the world. She told me she would include mine in the next edition of the same book she was rolling out soon.

Damn right I was excited~!!

[The book cover design is a piece of art by Amitabh Mitra who is also one of the contributors]

There was a book launch scheduled for Sunday evening at Odyssey, Adyar. I made note of the details and was there around 5.30.. It was a good evening indeed. It was such pleasure meeting ladies I had not met in ages, reading poems [3 of mine & others] ....

Here is a photograph featuring a few of us who were there last evening... 
[left to right- Prasanna, yours trully, Rhumjhum aka RK Biswas, Ameeta Agnihotri, Glory Sasikala, Minnie Tensingh, Radhamani, Vasanthi, Kerala Varma, Shreekumar Varma and Ramona]

Here I am reading my pieces from the phone... 

Thanks Glory for this lovely opportunity and for being so passionate and warm and giving!!

May 25, 2013

[Tag] My life in Six Words

Thanks Gayu for the tag, I must say I quite liked your 6 word memoir, esp the 2nd one on "Aspired to Inspire before I Expire"

To sum up my life in 6 words, not that difficult. Why? Because I have had this in mind for as long as I can remember and this is how I would like to be remembered after am gone...

I now pass on the baton to Clement, a financial services professional with quite a sense of humour and wit. he blogs here and can be found lurking about twitter under the handle @vadapoche [Btw, this post is a part of CBC's six word memoir tag.]

Image courtesy: 

April 21, 2013

Conversation with God

Here goes a conversation between a 5yr old and God

5yr old- Good morning God, please let me my mother let me go out and play. Please let there be no summer camp today

God: what a sweet child. Go ahead, i grant you your wishes

5yr old: Yayy, what a fun day today is going to be. Ma, can i go out and play for sometime? I want to try the new top dadda got me

Mom: yes, go ahead. dont go too far.

5yr old: Yes amma. I wont. [goes out to play]

Bad man whisks her away and rapes/abuses her, literally killing her in the process... 

The 5yr old today: God, I need to talk to you, where are you?

God:  yes my child

5yr old: What is wrong with me? Why did that man do what he did?

God: *silence*

5yr old: what did I do? was I a bad girl like amma says?

God: *silence*

5yr old: You only made me like this no.. tell me why I am in pain now?

God: *silence*

5yr old: what will happen to me now? everybody around me is staring at me, I am scared

God: *silence*

5yr old: is it wrong that I wanted to play? is it because I prayed that there be no summer camp that day?

God: *silence*

5yr old: Will you find and punish the bad man for me please?

God: *silence*... I sure will.. 

5yr old: thank you.. and make sure nobody else goes through what i have. I don't want such bad things to happen to anybody else.. 

God: *silence*

5yr old: *cries in pain* and turns away.............. 

Mom: shut up, dont cry.. people will hear you... *God knows what other ill luck is going to be bestowed upon us*  

Everytime something like this happens, I wonder - God is the one who created us, He is the one who put ideas and thoughts in our head, and so I wonder- why He made MEN the way they are, esp the rapists, abusers, murderers ---> criminals of all kinds....

April 19, 2013


She ran around playing
her mother had made sure she was never alone

She was a good girl
books, the village pup and her one friend were her world
She walked cautiously
stealing glances from the corner of her eye

She held on to her dress
eyes big and scared, looking as if she might cry

She felt dirty
wondered why that man had asked her to take off her clothes

She felt the pain
her body ached in places she dint know existed

She knew not what it was
her mind was blank, while the rest of her just floated

She wanted to reach home
hoping to find some comfort in her mother's pallu

She broke the silence
her parents shunned her, calling her names

She was all of 6
how on earth could she have invited this demon on her

She met her fate
the village well, that was the only answer she sought solace in.

(c) Aarti 19th April 2013

Every morning i wake up to a news of a child raped, abused somewhere in the country/world. Makes me sad, makes me feel helpless. Yesterday's news about a 5yr old who'd been raped by a neighbor was just too horrifying. I cant even begin to imagine what that little one is going through. I know a lot of 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 yr olds and I only pray to God that they are all kept safe... I want each and every one of us to take it upon ourselves to educate, teach, and protect the children around us...

Submitting this post for the Child Sexual abuse awareness month theme run by Chennai Bloggers Club....

March 9, 2013

Serene Sunday.... Her space

"Are you sleeping? Oh ok, carry on, wont wake you up. It is nearly 8am, where you up late last night? too much work is it? why?" a barrage of questions rattled her in the half asleep state. She was shaken up, could feel her body shaking. This is what happens when you dont get enough rest/sleep. She tried drawing the covers over her head and drowning out the sounds, but it dint seem possible. They were all around overpowering. She sat up on the bed, staring into space. He continued talking, saying things, about morning coffee, how one should sleep early, not go out and be gone till late into the night, stay put at home and what not. It was getting to her, creeping into her body like poison after a snake bite or a scorpion's sting [not that she knew what either felt like, she had only seen them on Discovery Channel]

Ah, the only ray of hope was that it was Saturday! Her day of escape. In 2hours she would be gone and then it would be sheer bliss. No constant instructions, no rules, no whining or cribbing. She would be in her safe place, happy and chilled out. She had big plans for the weekend, from completing that pending project to catching a movie with a friend. She also wanted to cook that one dish that stood out among the lot from the workshop. Making a mental list of things to buy, she got off the bed and headed to the restroom. "*Tap Tap Tap*, oh, no hurry, take our time. Could you just turn on the stairwell light please...." 

"umm, give me 2mins" she yelled out only to hear "Could you just turn on the stairwell light please...." again.. Aargggggggggggggggh... nowhere to hide in this house. She told herself to be calm and spend the next 2 hours with no verbal exchanges or spats! She quietly made her cup of tea, checked her handbag to see if the keys were there and packed 2 sets of clothes in the bag she had bought in Goa. Out of the corner of her eye she could see her aunt walk into the room and sit on the sofa. 

"So, you are going today also? Hmmm, ok, but I will be going to the temple tomorrow, uncle will be alone, can you stay back? I dont want to leave him home alone... you know why.. " 

Muttering a few curse words, she controlled her voice and replied "no worries, will come back in the morning and be here tomorrow". But for now, she was out the door to her space, her place, the 750 sq feet that was all hers. She opened the door to her apartment, dumped her bag near the entrance, headed straight to the bedroom, plugged in the iPod and plonked on the bed. Ah, peace at last... *was there a knock on the door?* Nyah, there was nobody to knock!

Submitting this for Serene Sunday theme from Chennai Bloggers Club.